OFFICIAL MINISTRY STATISTICS
All figures are genuine aggregate counts. The Ministry stores no names, no accounts, no email addresses, no raw IP addresses and no voting intentions. Small location groups are suppressed. “Estimated sessions” are estimates, not unique people.
26Aptitude tests commenced
4Tests completed to the bitter end
15.4%Completion rate
135Individual tests administered
10.8/15Average democratic competence
0Escapes to the official registration site
0Forms distributed to acquaintances
4Ceremonial ballots folded
SCORE DISTRIBUTION
| Score | Runs | Distribution |
|---|---|---|
| 8/15 | 1 | |
| 10/15 | 1 | |
| 12/15 | 1 | |
| 13/15 | 1 |
PERFORMANCE BY TEST
| Test | Administered | Pass rate |
|---|---|---|
| Make the Grabber Fair | 10 | 70% |
| Restore Ceefax | 9 | 77.8% |
| Point at the Camera | 8 | 62.5% |
| Avoid the Milkshake | 7 | 28.6% |
| Dodge the Interview | 6 | 16.7% |
| Regenerate Walton Pier | 6 | 16.7% |
| Avoid the Bribes | 5 | 60% |
| Press Resign | 5 | 40% |
| Photo Op: Hold the Pint | 5 | 100% |
| Eurovision 2027 | 5 | 100% |
| Collect the Rubbish | 5 | 40% |
| Avoid the Binface Debate | 5 | 0% |
| Inflate the Ego | 5 | 80% |
| Identify Clacton | 4 | 25% |
| Stand Behind Britain | 4 | 25% |
| Confiscate the Loud One | 4 | 100% |
| Respond to Jaywick | 4 | 100% |
| Solar Panels for Everyone | 3 | 100% |
| Stand Again | 3 | 66.7% |
| Price the 99 | 3 | 100% |
| Whose Manifesto? | 3 | 100% |
| Move the Hand-Dryer | 3 | 33.3% |
| Catch the Fag (a cigarette) | 3 | 100% |
| Stamp the Passports | 3 | 0% |
| Identify the Establishment | 3 | 100% |
| Avoid Clacton | 3 | 66.7% |
| Recycle the Milkshake | 3 | 66.7% |
| Hide the Envelope | 2 | 100% |
| Cut Your Taxes | 1 | 100% |
| Apply for Your 13th Second Job | 1 | 100% |
| Read the Safe One | 1 | 0% |
| Find the House of Commons | 1 | 100% |
| Build the Affordable House | 1 | 0% |
| None of Your Business | 1 | 100% |
DEPARTMENTS
| Mode | Completed runs |
|---|---|
| Normal | 4 |
ISSUED EQUIPMENT
| Device | Runs started |
|---|---|
| Desktop | 13 |
| Mobile | 5 |
| Tablet | 8 |
| Unknown | 0 |
INTERNATIONAL OBSERVERS
Countries with fewer than 20 estimated sessions are suppressed to avoid identifying anyone.
| Country | Estimated sessions |
|---|---|
| US | 425 |
| GB | 61 |
| BG | 33 |
| NL | 32 |
| BE | 31 |
| FR | 26 |
| DE | 25 |
| SE | 22 |
DAILY TREND
| Date | Started | Completed | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2026-08-08 | 1 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-09 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-10 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-11 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-12 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-13 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-14 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-15 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-16 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-17 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-18 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-19 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-20 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-21 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-22 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-23 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-24 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-25 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-26 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-27 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-28 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-29 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-30 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-08-31 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-09-01 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-09-02 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-09-03 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-09-04 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-09-05 | 0 | 0 | |
| 2026-09-06 | 0 | 0 |
OFFICIAL ELECTION INFORMATION
Vote. The Ministry does not care who for. It merely insists that democracy is funnier when people turn up.